Here at Simian Akademy,

our mission is to help you gain the skills necessary
to adapt to today's dynamic, ever-changing playa environment.
Our dedicated team of trained monkeys will show you where it goes and how to work it.
If a trained monkey can do it, you can too!

Monkey Wrench Station

Bike broken and nowhere to turn? Well, you may be 'all thumbs' but if at least two are opposable, we can help you fix it! (And if not, we'll help you break it altogether!)

The Olfactorium

Looking for a truly unique and interactive experience? Come visit the Olfactorium where Amber Jobin, our Mistress of Scent, will concoct a custom perfume just for you, based on your unique, personal preferences.

Primate Olympics

Monkey cornhole, drunk waiter, banana toss, monkey drag race, Melony... do have what it takes to be a champion?

Sparkle Pony Watering Trough

Dignity? No room for it if you're not pulling your weight!

The Dome of Dispair

Just what does one do with all the leftover bits after building a geodesic dome? Why, build a teeny, tiny, miniature 4-foot Dome of Despair… which begs the question, just how many people CAN we fit in it? (The current record is 4... and a half!)

Chill the Fuck Out and Color!

Feeling cranky from the heat? Your new best friend getting on your nerves already? You need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND COLOR! Come visit our shaded dome to relax and color your frustrations away. Choose your favorite, beautifully embellished swear word, or perhaps a picture of unicorns being total assholes!

Enroll Now!